Lost Memory@Scare to accept

Recently.many things happen to me...good is coz my mid term over....bad is coz i really not suitable or suit to b in the world....
Kim told me....if i think so,.....she more not suit....dunno...mayb not....^^
Since i know ming still love his ex....not me....i really so upsad...like everything is over...
now i'm afraid to love a guy....for me...guy is a jerk....mayb....
i scare to be hurt...
i scare to be .....not the one he love....
Am i really not perlu dihargai oleh kamu semua???
ya...i know i'm quite irritating....i know i'm quite stupid...but is it cz so i not 值得被珍惜...被爱惜。。???
if so...den i choose to b 'silencer'....i choose to be someone wihout any feelings anymore...
feelings is hurt....feelings is a lie....feelings is a curse....feeling can kill people in time....feelings can cause many problem...feelings is a kind of death contract....

Gloomy Sunday....

The song so nice....the melody the lyrics...so special....so merdu...so impress so gan dung...
Tears fall of when i listen to it....bravo....hahaha....
Many ppl say this song is a curse....but i dont think so..is a gentle sweet n special song....
the meaning so deep...so deep...so meaningful....

Gloomy Sunday....
Sunday is Gloomy....
My house are slumberless...
Dear at the shadows....
I live with are numberless...
Little white flowers...
will never awaken you......
Not where the black culture's...
Sorrow has taken you....
Angel have no thoughts...
Of even returning you.....
Wouldn't they be angry ...
If i thought of joining you????
Gloomy Sunday...........................................................................................

so nice...the melody....keep inside my mind...repeat n repeat....

I still love her ~~~

This title...is from him....today i on msn....i saw his personal message....
haha...silly me...stupid me...
now i know why u do so...coz u still love her...haha....
so stupid....me.....
haha...hahaha....hahahaha....nothing i can say~~~nothing i can do....
sorry~~~i so annoying this few days....
wish u luck....wish u happy....dont play too late lo...later u headache o~~~haha
stupid me....hahaha~~~

No Title

Today is my choir mid term...wow...everyone so nice in singing....me so teruknya><.....
after choir.....me n sheau hui n kim n joslyn when for dinner....the lamb chop i ate is so delicious....suddenly feel so warm n care n safe n happy....

Today kim done smth quite make me ' gan dong'....although she forget alr....but while she got my msg...she jz go n buy the sore throat sweet...trully 'in love' with her...hehe....

Guys really guys....today i click n have a look on ming msn ...his personal pic. chg...haha...chg to a beauty model....guys really a guys....ming....u really playing at me???got a bit start to thinking this question......

Today i learn smth the same...is....i really not belong to 'music' world...trying to pick up but is lousy me....hard to do so....i really so stupid n useless ....T.T

no love....no life...no soucl...no body....no one....who am i????i'm no one~~~~

My Style@My Life@Love Game@Speechless@Nt Belongs

Today i go for my Major class....inside there damn cold la....now my room also damn cold nia.....haha\My style my life is alw sucks...nothing in a happy ending.....
Love game...i love this song...trully in love.....why???coz....the lyrics are the right thing that we suppose to learn.....have a break n listen to this song......
Speechless to myself....dAMN angry to myself today....my aural...hate my self forever.....
Am i belongs there????should i study music???Am i belong to music world????or i really walk into a wrong door....????Is so Complicated.....==...TT.....everyone got their own talent...but me jz a rubbish at there...nothing speacial of....damn...fucking angry myslef..hate it...wanna give up soon.....give up is the easiest way to prove that i'm trully a useless rubbish...jz like wht u all likes to do to me....in love but at laST...end with a 'happy' ending.....
Rubbish XiAN.....==.....

Lonely----
Rubbish...I'm a Rubbish....no one feel like me....no one see me....o~~~~~~~Rubbish...Xian is a Rubbish...useless n stupid.....like a rubbish...o~~~~

Think of me----Think of Rubbish Xian
-------Think of me....when u saw rubbish.....think of how useless me.....
anyone....mayb ther's no one could see me at alll....
long a ago it seem so long a ago....this rubbish still the same no change....
o u stupid damn.... useless rubbish go back to ur life.....
Here not ur world pls go back go back.....
o rubbish xian go back ur ...own lifetime....
could it be ...could it be my home ....bravo....long a ago it seem so long ago...my life is rubbish n useless...stupid freaking me jz wish to stay at one corner....(xian sing)
Go away pls go away....dont stay here polute our life....
u r not the one....to be here.....the world not suite u....
NOT FOR YOU~~~~~~

Blood Donation...!!!!

DATE:11 JULY 2009

TIME:11AM-5PM

VENUE:KOREA PLAZA , MENARA HAP SENG, JALAN P. RAMLEE

Credits to: Super Junior Malaysia Fans-site (MYSJ)
http://www.mysj-home.com/
http://mysj-home.blogspot.com/

无题~~~或许

今天的天气都是阴阴天的~~~那种感觉很凉爽。。。凉爽的同时又很冷冰冰的。。。
突然我想起了你。。。感觉到你当时给过我的温柔，的温暖，体贴。。。
突然一阵冷风吹过。。。把我给冷了一冷。。。对你的梦消失了。。。感觉很沮丧。。。TT
我很想明白你到底在想什么。。。但你似乎不想让我知道事实。。。
你问过我。。。相信你是骗我的吗？？？我当时很明确的回答你。。。我不信你欺骗我。。。
前几天你的主动信息让我感到很温暖，很开心。。。但这几天的你。。。又消失在不知不觉中。。。我对你来说是什么？？？你的心里还有我吗？？？
我开始怀疑我自己对你的信任。。。但另一方面的我又对你的信任。。。。（语无伦次了==）
我突然很累了。。。 真的很累了。。。我好想继续的查问真相。。。但另一方面的我很累了。。。很想躺下好好的休息。。。边等待着你~~~

frenz^^

>>>>>Finally i killed u...muahhahaha >>>>Horrifying us~~~

>>>>dONT POSE LA...Is recording la...

>>>>Dont come down...no...NOOOOO

>>>>Wonderland

>>>>Arrrrr....scarry nia...

>>>>>We r WANTED.....Come catch us if u can...

>>>>>sHHHH...SILENT

>>>>Why wan AIM me...TT

>>>>sWEET pIC.....^^

2009...UCSI Prom Night

today is 2009.06.20....

UCSI having a prom night at Legend hotel....nothing much....this is me....today.....

Complicated@waiting???

Someone is waiting for me but i'm waiting for someone~~~
Ming, how r u recently???sure is playing dragonica again~~~haha....
Love is so complicated.....how can make someone not to wait for you???
very scare tat if the someone know that the last result still 'No' ...wht he will do???
so tiring la...><....i wn my life to be quite...peace...alone in darkness now....shh...silent...!!!

Break Down@No more Ally no more Xian

Today...sc told me ming is playing at me from the 1st.....till now.....suddenly i feel so hurt...so deep.....
But dunno why i still so stupid...choose to trust him he is not~~~playing at me~~~
Sudden i scare of trusting anyone.....especially guy....and i feel tat guy is scary....
Sc i really thx u tel me the truth mayb not.....but i choose to be the stupiest ppl in the world....haha
LOVE MY KILL PEOPLE...IS TRUE.....
I not dare to accept a new life....anymore....besides...i really not wn to get hurt n i really will be waiting for ming~~~
When i true heart he not...but when i'm playing he is true to me.....is this my punishment..?
Mayb is it....ming i trust u not playing at me...aren't u???

No more ally in u all mind...no more xian in u all mind....just got

DEAD N GONE
ANGEL N DEMON
HELL N HEAVEN~~~dont left me behind

Darkness is my home forever~~~

Letter To You

I have a letter to you, Ming!!!
here is your letter~~~

Hey...so how r u recently???i really miss you n trust u much....i trust u will do wht u say b4 to me~~~wht u promise b4~~~long tie i no trust anyone~~~but now u make me to trust ppl agn~~~u lead me to trust u~~~I really dont wish this is the ending....Is not the ending i wn...i wish i dream~~~
Am i annoying to you???mayb i am~~~Now i juz like a person wihout soul...every moment my soul jz keep seeking the ans from the library about u~~~everything in this month seem so hard to live....so hard to over....izit coz no u as my support???
Long time i dont even 'yi kao' to a guy....u make me feel safe n warm to u while u beside me....even i know u going to everseas...but i wont gv up too...cz even is far distance...i also can feel u beside me always n warm me up~~~
Do you think this is our ending???Do u realize i'm waiting for u???Do u realize i really love u???Do u realize tat while u say u dont wn to hurt anyone coz u are going to overseas,i so wish tat u can know that...ur decision to me is wrong coz if i really care about this problem i wont accept u since that day....i jz care u caring at me...u love me...n i trust u....

Ming....wht r u thinking???

Feelings to You~~~

At last i think whole day things...moody whole day....whole month....Finally..i choose to tell him about my feelings....
i NO GIVE UP U B4, MING....I DO REALLY TRUST U....Y CANT U TRUST URSELF....
No matter u are going overseas or not....i jz require ur heart got me n u treat me as ur GF....not like a rubbish den is oki~~~
overseas not a explaination....mayb for u yes....but for me definitely not....coz when the day i accept u,....i DO TRUST U MUCH....
I trust wht u will do that wht u say b4....
Ming...I'm waiting~~~

Emo@Dreaming

Dreaming ming again~~~U ask me... am i miss u....actually...my answer is yes...
But i scare if i answer u yes....what will u do...avoid me???
or another ans that i wish to heard....
Ming...i really miss u...really can forget u~~~
My brain just keep thinking of u everyday...
What u doing...?
What u thinking....?
Have ur breakfast/lunch/dinner....?
Are you headache again....?
......................
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....................................................others...

Mariah Carey_My All

I'm thinking of you

In my sleepless solitude tonight

If it's wrong to love you

Then my heart just won't let me be right

Cause I've drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side

I'd give my all

To have

Just one more night with you

I'd risk my life

To feel

Your body next to mine

Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all

For your love

Tonight

Baby, can you feel me

Imagining I'm looking in your eyes

I can see you clearly

Vividly emblazoned in my mind

And yet you're so far

Like a distant star

I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all
To have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life

To feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all
For your love
Tonight

I'd give my all
To have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life

To feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all
For your love
Tonight

Give my all

For your love

Tonight

4 Grand piano Concert@my life

Today is kind a special tiring day la.....haha....today i went to a 4 grand piano concerto concert with ah dy(daddy=ah lian),ah ma(mummy=ah gan) and a lot of siblings....like xing yi,timothy,xing yi's sis,li ping,kitssons and pixie...haha...of coz i'm the one in the family too....haha

Today...ming got sms with me ,.....he did reply me many lo....so happy la....hehe... yesterday midnight means today morning morning...i did ask him smth tat i use all my brave....Do you still like me??he no ans me...he jz ask y i ask so....den i jz can say jz ask lo.....haha...
'Wishing you were somehow here agn....wishing u were somehow there...'

'That's all i ask of you...'

=====Timothy====
=====Me n Ah Dy pencil box======
=====I color the sugar neh=====
====me n joslyn========inside lif====
====Me inside sasa car...with her paw paw toy====
======Ah Dy n Ah Mi....shy shy=====

@Bad day@

Today is my badday....wil i driving...sudden the wind glass jz...piakpiak alr...haiz.....

here is my last scene of my old wind glass....

Daddy juz said....stone will broke till like this sure is a lousy glass...haha....

that time i driving at fast line....sudden my wind glass piakpiak alr....i get a big big 'surprise' man....

after i hold myself for a few second....i drive my car slowly to the emergency line....den the glass juz slowly piak=ing will those car fly thorugh.....so so so nightmare la.....
haha...next is today ming he got sms with me...haha..so happy nia..so i take some pic...using my com de webcam....

MY STYLE TODAY AT UCSI:

speechless@dreaming timing

today...i feel not to do anything...jz trying to wait ....wait for his call....his msg.....his...

Ming....wht r u been doing this few days???sorry o...i cant teman u...while u need ppl....mayb u not need me....but i will be stanbying.....haha....silly me....
many ppl call me to forget about u nia...bu i told them....i wont...i will wait....haha...all scold me silly....
everyone jz said...dont wait la...he wont find u back.....jz gv up la.....
gv up is easy to be ...done....but i choose not to gv up waiting u....
ming....wht r u thinking???wht actually r u waiting???

so am dui last last night no wait till 2 smth for ur msg...wuawawawa,......TT....
haiz.....i start wait now...haha.....ming,,,,miss you mut mut....keke....@.@ ^.^

Without You~~~Ming

No i cant forget this evening , or your face as you were leaving.....
But i guess that just the way that story goes...
You always smile but in your eyes , your sorrow shows...
Yes it shows....

No i cant forget tomorrow , when i think of all my sorrow...
When i had you there but then i let you go.....
And now it's only fair that i should let you know....
What you should know....

chorus:
I cant live.....If living is without you.....
I cant live.....
I cant give anymore.....
I cant live.....If living is without you.....
I cant give.....
I cant give anymore.....

No i cant forget this evening , or your face as you were leaving.....
But i guess that just the way that story goes...
You always smile but in your eyes , your sorrow shows...
Yes it shows....

chorus:
I cant live.....If living is without you.....
I cant live.....
I cant give anymore.....
I cant live.....If living is without you.....
I cant give.....
I cant give anymore..... I cant live...
I cant live....
NO ~~~~no ar....no no no no noar....
I cant live...
I cant live....if living is wihout you....
I cant live......
I cant give anymore....

......Mariah Carey........

dreamingday~~~

Everyday...i will thinking what r u doing? sleeping? working? or playing games....

ming....wht r u doing recently???is everything going wel.....

Do you think of me sometimes...at least a few minut....

Emo for u

Emo me~~~

Emo Queen

Thinking of you...ming...

Take a pic...come on....

me n sasa....hehe...