对不起~~~妒嫉心发作了~~~

当我看到你和她在讯息。。。谈天。。。的部分比我多的时候。。。我越觉得我的存在很碍事。。。仿佛就像多余的一样。。。不该出现不该发生不该拥有。。。
我看到她为你的付出。。。但看不到我对你的爱可以胜过她。。。
表面上我很宽容大量。。。我只希望你明白不是我不想开口说。。。而是我对着你不知道该怎么说。。。难道你要我对你说：‘你们俩可别那么亲密吗？？？’
很笨咯。。。我曾在你的面前与别人sms。。。你都没说什么。。。难道我可以那么霸道吗？？？
其实我的妒嫉心比你强。。。我不想我的妒嫉心成为你的负担。。。所以我选择睁一只眼闭一只眼。。。什么就笑笑过了就好。。。
对不起。。。我没用口问你是否和她在sms。。。而是用文字表达。。。
我知道我的人很眼浅。。。很容易就流泪。。。我不想再在你面前流泪了。。。我不想因为我的泪水又破坏了你和她。。。
说实话。。。你和她比较像情侣吧。。。
我很想让你得到快乐。。。选择了让你走。。。你却说我放弃。。。其实让你走我没放弃到。。。而是我爱你不想你在被我伤害。。。所以才让你走。。。
我不想让你走。。。因为我不想你属于别人的。。。我想你是我的。。。永远都是。。。但回想。。。我给不到你快乐。。。反而是一次又一次的失望和沮丧。。。
我拿不到决定。。。我很讨厌自己。。。很讨厌以前的我。。。对不起~~~
我好想你哦~~~
越想越觉得。。。自己的存在很不应该。。。怎么觉得你和她比我们还要合呢？？？
对不起~~~我的妒嫉心发作了~~~我会控制它不让它曾为你的负担。。。对不起

wrong love~~~not suppose to be love~~~

对不起。。。我让你受了很多不应该有的伤痕。。。。不应该有的烂回忆。。。
你的错爱。。。我很感激。。。但算我无福消受。。。
我不会去爱人。。。也不值得被人爱。。。
我背叛过你。。。你也深深地爱着我。。。维护着我。。。
我领到你蒙羞。。。但最后还是你在维护着我。。。
你的爱护我很感动。。。你的忍让让他人为你而愤怒。。。
我不值得你去爱。。。也没资格去爱任何人。。。
既然你有了一个比我还要爱你。。。令你高兴的人。。。为什么你就不要去爱。。。
偏偏爱着一个烂女人。。。不值得的爱。。。没有价值的女人。。。
就让我的一切随风飘去。。。
我只想你快乐。。。！！！！
别爱着不该被爱的我。。。不值得被爱的我！！！！

Die Soon@Die Already....my future>my dream

wow....time passs by very fast and suddenly.....
Everything happen around me already become a dust and blew away by the wind....
folow the wind n fly to different region....meet different culture....meet different religious and different people....
Memory of people will because of time became not clear and dissappear.....or even keep it ddrp inside your heart....
Maybe is a sweet memory...maybe is a sad memory...or maybe even is a precious memory....
No one knows what will happen next and no one know what happened to you before.....
Recently the real of me....was dead....why?
Because of the World Music and Malaysian Music...This two subjects really killed me...
I still rmb....there is a senior asking me a question when i sutdy at UCSI no long....
She ask me why i'm here?i came here for what?
I tell her....I came here for study...i want to know more about music....
She smile and ask me second question...Then what's your dream?
I tell her...I want to be a teacher ....erm....maybe...haha
She said: tell me the truth deep inside your heart...
i think for a few minute...i not dare to said out loud coz i scare...
i scare ppl will laugh at my dream....
i scare ppl will say me childish...
i scare ppl will say me dont think too much...
At last i take out all my brave and tel her....
'I WANT TO BE AN ARTIST ...A SINGER...A FAMOUS SINGER....I WANT EVERYONE KNOW ME....'
She starred at me .....and laugh out loud...
then she said: ' just now you should told me....what take you to think so long???just be yourself....you can be a singer'
when i heard that...i feel very happy very excited very....just like dreaming.....^^
This is one of the reason that cause me to choose minor vocal....because i LOVE SINGING.....I WANT TO SING....I WANT USE SINGING AS MY MESSAGE FOR EVERYONE ....I WANT TO BE A SINGER.....I MUSTACHIEVE THIS DREAM....
After this few 3 months i learn vocal....the 1st 2 month i unable to sing what teacher want....
i feel very dissapointed very useless.....like eveything gone....
luckily....there are a gang of frenz giving brave n support to me....
finally.....coming to the last month...i do it...i can.....althought teacher no give me any songs to sing...but she let me sing scale....piano i alr miss a lot basic coz i hate scale...i cannot cannot definitely cannot lazy and hate scales....this is my basic...this is my future.....
AND I LOVE SINGING.....
NEVER HAVE A DREAM COME TRUE is my famous sentences......i want to prove it....i want to erase it in my name list.....i want it become MY DREAM COME TRUE....!!!!
i wish so~~~^^
MY DREAM.....I WANT TO SING....I LOVE TO SING....I WANT TO BE.....^^

20 BUCKS~~~

FUCKING STUPID DAY.....
today 1130 am my campus vocal teacher sms....ask me to go for replacement class....
the 1st action i will do sure is NO....so i request for friday....
SHIT....she told me.....everyone come at monday.....only...==
haiz....so i force to wake up n clean up myself and have my cereal breakfast==
1255pm...
i out from my house to partol n pump oil only go campus....
Dont know why recently those FUCKING POLISMAN so free....
alw 'bok zhu' the driver who drive too fast.....
last week i drive the same speed no get caught.....today....i get caught....FUCK....
like this nvm......i hate the conversation below so much....
POLICEMAN: Lesen!!!!
ME: nah~~~
POLICEMAN: you going where?
ME: campus la...neh....UCSI there....
POLICEMAN: So mean you everday jalan this road la...
ME: ya la.....
POLICEMAN: You know this road max. is 80 only?
ME: OoO...ya meh.....i dont know o....
POLICEMAN: now u drive more then 50 la....
ME: Aiyo....sure ar???ya meh????i dont know leh.....
POLCEMAN: You know u lesen P if get saman need gv 300 bucks ?!?
ME: Huh.....really ar.....i dont know leh....so expensive nia....me jz a student leh.....eh brother....gv me one more chance nia.....
POLICEMAN: you want me how to gv u chance?
ME: huh...i dont know leh...
POLICEMAN: you wnt me how gv u one more chance?very expensive you know????
ME: yala i know la.....
POLICEMAN: then why u want drive makin cepat?
ME: No choice la brother....i rushing time la....teacher waiting alr.....later teacher kill me ar....gv me one more chance la brother....!!!
POLICEMAN: YOU WANT ME HOW TO GV U ONE MORE CHANCE???
ME: (KNS)....KLA.....10 BUCKS OKI?
POLICEMAN: at least rm20 la.....
ME: oki oki....(give rm20)
.....bye bye lu.......
haiz....see...wht kind of policeman wht kind of life.....TT